Binging

It's normal for one to crave certain things while following Ana.  However, it's important to abstain from binging.  All binging is doing is causing you to cheat, and when you cheat, you'll never win.  So, stay strong and avoid that urge to completely undo what you are working so hard for.

Instead of binging--drink water, exercise, get active, get those hands moving, chew gum----anything to get your mind off of eating.  If you MUST eat, eat veggies.  Fill up on some nice salad greens or chew on some celery.  Whatever you do---do not give in!  Sooner than you expect the cravings for things will completely disappear.  And remember, when you crave a certain thing you aren't really hungry---you're bored.  Learn the difference immediately.


Stay Skinny Loves,
P

Negative calories

Over the past few weeks as I research the food that I am allowed to consume....I have found something sort of shocking.  Most dieting websites claim that there are some foods that have "negative" calories since the amount of calories it takes to digest them is greater than what is in them. 

I think it's total crap.

When following a daily caloric limit diet you MUST count all incoming calories.  There's no such thing as "negative" calories.  That's why when I put my food into MFP I always make sure to mark everything.  Even seasonings.  This will help you keep a more accurate count of your caloric intake. 

It's a new week and I'm hoping to get a lot of exercise done.  I only have 19 days to lose the rest of the weight I want to for my short term goal.  Although I am still losing about a pound a day, I would really like to get much lower than 280 so I have some buffer room.


Kiddo is waking up so I have to post later.


Stay Skinny Loves
P

Another one bites the dust

Stepped on the scale today...another pound down.  I'm thinking about buying some laxatives today so I can help get rid of this extra crap (for the lack of a better word lol) out of me.  What I am noticing though, is whenever I eat too much--I get a strong urge to throw up.  Most of the time, I can suppress the feeling but other times it lingers for far too long.  Again, I do not wish to give Mia a chance.  I'm an Ana girl. She's the one I want to work with.  But it's so hard.  I'm thinking that this is just my stomach shrinking.  What a great feeling!

Something I forgot to post earlier...

My husband didn't have to work last night, so he was up most of the day today.  After we had breakfast, we came back home and I weighed myself.  This is the exact conversation we had.

H:  298?  That can't be right!
Me: Yup.  I'm pretty happy with that number.
H:  No, it's obviously not weighing right.  There's no way that you weigh that little.
Me:  So you think I weigh more?
H: Yes, I do.  There's no way. 
Me:  Way to burst my bubble.
H:  I like you with meat on your bones.  Gives me something to hang onto. *grabs my ass*




Yea...way to make me want to lose more weight, asshole.  You've now become inspiration number two on my list.  That's something I've never shared---my inspiration list.  Well, here it is

Inspiration

~For myself.  I am tired of being the "fat one"
~My husband.  Since clearly he thinks I'm a lard ass
~My son.  He needs his mother.
~For the collarbone. 

~To feel my ribs
~To be a "hot mom"
~To wear cute little clothes
~To finally get a belly piercing
~To gain confidence to hit on girls.  (side note, I'm bisexual and looking for a girl to have fun with)
~To have people notice me for how good I look.
~To have people ask me if I'm losing weight
~To see my toes
~To be able to sit at a meal and eat a few bites, then say I'm full.
~To be able to wear a bathing suit again.
~To move around without grunting
~To be able to say I did this all by myself.  (With a little help from Ana)
~To not feeling disgusting.

That conversation just gave me more motivation. 

Stay Skinny Loves,
P

Surprise, surprise

I'm always amazed whenever I binge eat, that I always seem to weigh less the next day.  I'm still nowhere near I want to be, and my STG date is coming up pretty fast!  I need to get my butt into gear.  Husband is quite enamored with the fact that working out gets me feeling rather horny.  But I can't help it!  Working up a sweat makes me want to get sweaty ;)


I'm still dieting and it's easier to say no to the things I want.  I'm up to a gallon and a half of water a day.  And I completely stopped drinking soda.  I limit myself to one iced coffee per day and 2 cups of green tea.  The rest?  All water, baby.  In a few minutes I'm going to work out again, and then another one before bed.  Then maybe a bit more exercise in the sheets.


Current weight: 298.6

Hitting a dead end

Food is everywhere!  And people are picking up on the fact that I'm not eating.  I refuse to give in to my temptations, but there are people in my life that point out that I'm not eating.  I hate being confronted in front of people, and I hate being told that I must eat.  I don't have to do anything I don't want to. 

Not to mention, at the same function, someone told me that I look pregnant.  Damn, way to take the air out of my sails.  I thought I was looking better!  I was seeing a difference!  Now all I want to do is binge and say fuck this.  But ultimately I am going to just push my body harder.

Stay Skinny, Loves. 


PS:  I'm now 297.  I can start to see my collarbone and cheek bones.  There is progress, even if I still look like a fat blob to everyone else.

Things To Remember

Husband finally asked me if I am losing weight.  It only took him 16 pounds to ask me that.  I am still considering it a win. 

I am apart of a "mommy" social media site and I have been posting about Ana and what she's all about.  Of course, moms are the worst judgemental people ever.  Nurturing is only meant for our children, I suppose.  But it got me thinking about the things that are important to reach our goals with Ana.  Call them tips, call them "laws", call them hardcore...whatever.  They will help.


1. Always keep your belly full....

...of water!  Water will not only keep you full and not craving food, but it will help so much in aiding your metabolism. 

2.  When in doubt, work it out.

Hungry?  Do 100 jumping jacks.  Bored?  Do a wall sit for a minute.  Feeling lazy?  Do some crunches.  Whatever you do....do NOT associate "hunger" for "boredom".  Yes, I know...I KNOW...I was one of those girls.  But it's just as easy to work it out when you are ready to eat. 

3.  Take vitamins.

It will help if you start to lose your hair.  It also helps preventing from your body going into starvation mode. 

4.  Weigh yourself...and do it often.

I weigh myself twice daily.  But I have seen some do it as much as once an hour.  One in the morning after you void your bladder and once right before bed.  Keep the mantra "higher than yesterday, fast for today" in your head.  And keep a record of your progress!  

5.  Measure at least 3 times a week.

I don't always do this.  Sometimes I just don't want to.  Other times I feel so silly in doing it.  But it's the only TRUE way to see if you are losing inches.  The scale and be persuaded, the tape measure?  Not so much. 

Here's a great video to show you how.

6.  Get your beauty sleep.

When you sleep, you can't eat...  What is better than that?

7.  Wear tight fitting clothing.

Or buy some that is a size smaller than you.  It'll give you physical proof that you need to lose weight.

8.  And burn those "fat pants"

You'll never need them again 

9.  Listen to your body

Yes, not eating is hard and when that tummy grumbles, it's hard to not give in.  However, I am talking about the other parts of your body.  Make sure not to get too dizzy.  Or, if you get a headache.  Tummies can be ignored---they're not in control...YOU ARE.  But your head?  Listen to it.  Just make sure to eat something healthy so your work isn't completely undone. 

10.  Do this for YOU

Don't let anyone else say "you need to eat" or "you should stop".  You decide if and when you want to stop.  You're the one living in your body.  Live for you! 

Just some things to keep in mind when you are on your quest to be smaller!

Stay Skinny Loves!

Wow. What a difference!

I can honestly say that without a doubt, I will never return to my previous eating habits.  Ever.  I have been working super hard the past few weeks, and I am already noticing changes.  While I am not where I want to be, I know that I am getting there. 

You'd be surprised how quickly you give up certain cravings.  Like with me and sugar.  I LOVE sugar.  Anything sweet....mmmm mmmm.  However, now I'm drinking my tea with a half a teaspoon of sugar.  I took a sip of apple juice today (don't worry, I didn't swallow) and it litterally tasted like...calories.  Just empty meaningless calories.  So why would I want to poison myself with that? The calories I DO consume, need to be more than just empty yummyness.  They gotta mean something.

Sure.  I don't always follow what I'm supposed to eat.  But I am leaps and bounds from where I was. Am I still disgustingly fat?  Oh hell yes.  However, there is just a little bit less than before.  I am getting my stomach used to being empty.  I can tell it already shrank.  For dinner, I ate 4 bites and I was full!  And I won't eat again for another 24 hours.  How cool is that?

While taking kiddo out for a walk earlier, some guy hit on me.  Sure, I just gotta blew him off...but still I smiled to myself on the inside.


Too many times I see people getting down on their weight.  I'm not depressed about my weight.  Sure, I might get frustrated.  But ultimately...I'm getting proactive about my weight.  Before I would never take a super long walk...now I'm doing it 3 times a week!  And doing even more exercise after?  This surely isn't the same person I was as little as a month ago. 

Here I am--making a change.  Because I got this.


Stay Skinny, Loves.

Weigh In Wednesday

With my super low calorie intake yesterday, I'm happy to say that I dropped another pound.  I'm now averaging a pound a day.  Which, is awesome.  I'm just that much closer to my goal of 280 in 31 days.  I have about 19 pounds to go. 

Luckily the husband will be away this morning so I can burn some extra calories.  He doesn't like seeing me exercise.  Especially since I've been eating so little lately.  But what can I say?  I'm addicted to the results! For the first time in 3 years I can feel my colarbones! They're not sticking out, but they're there.  Little things to make me happy.

Stay Skinny, Loves!

Just gotta brag...

Today was a good day!  I consumed 313 calories and burned off 627!  Just got off the scale and my weight now is less than it was this morning.

And even with all of that, I'm still not hungry.  Earlier, I did have a little crisis when I was making lunch for husband and kiddo.  I chewed on some celery while I cooked, and spit it out.  So I got all the flavor, but no calories.  Plus, that chewing had to contribute to some calories burning.


Wow.  I didn't really believe it, but drinking the green tea really helped.  It filled me up, gave me an extra dose of water and some good flavor.  I will admit, I did add a small amount of raw sugar just to give it some sweetness.

And I am so full of energy!  It's amazing what not putting crap into body can do.  There's a choice to follow Ana and there's a choice to be fat.  Both you have to actively work for.  If "hard work" was easy, everyone could do it.


Stay Skinny, loves.

Rain, rain, rain.

It was raining too hard for us to go camping last night, so we stayed home.


Good thing is, I was able to get to weigh myself today.



299.6!





YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Hell yes!

I am way under my calorie max for the day.  I'm sitting pretty at 500cal.


YES!

And, I drank almost a full gallon of water today.


And, someone finally asked me if I lost weight.


It isn't success yet, but I'm getting there.

I must be dense

Every morning I weigh myself.  And even though I totally pigged out last night at dinner, I lost weight.  I'm not complaining but I honestly cannot understand how this happens. 


It's still pretty cool to see that I lost more weight.

Committed.

I have committed myself to a walking program starting on Monday.  I'm going to walk 1.5 miles at least 3 times a week.  On the "off" days, I will do 40 minutes of intense dancing.  And everyday I'm going to do toning exercises. 


I will overcome this weight.  I will be 280 come July 20th.