Binging

After dinner, I needed a snack.  Something.  I caved and had a peanut butter and jelly.  I felt so guilty but it was so good.


Until I threw it up.  


I couldn't stand having it stay in my stomach.  And now, I'm sitting here wishing I had another.  I feel so disgusting...but I can't help it!  Apparently I'm not as strong as I thought I was going into this.


I need better control.   So ladies and gents....how do you do it?  How do you fight the urges. 

I must be dense

Every morning I weigh myself.  And even though I totally pigged out last night at dinner, I lost weight.  I'm not complaining but I honestly cannot understand how this happens. 


It's still pretty cool to see that I lost more weight.

Gotta stop meeting like this, kid

Seriously, it's one step forward, a billion backwards.  Tonight at dinner the husband FORCED me to eat.  Now I'm feeling so full that I'm going to burst at the seems.  FUCK.  This is NOT how I'm going to lose weight. 

I just wish he would understand that I need to do this.  I can't keep eating like this all the damn time.


On a good note though, I exercised hardcore today.  According to MFP I burned almost 700cal.  So I'm hoping that dinner didn't completely undo my progress.

Small steps yields results

Good morning lovelies!

Yesterday, I stayed under 700cals!  I'm pretty psyched about it.  For dinner I made sure to cut my food super small and take sips of water between bites.  Husband was kinda looking at me funny, but I just said that because of the heat, my mouth was extra dry.  I don't like lying to him, however, he'll be pleased with the end result.

And I have a small victory.  After eating WAY too much all weekend, I was able to shed 2 more pounds.  WHOOOOO.  Seriously...I know I'm still a LONG way off....but I'm getting there.

Committed.

I have committed myself to a walking program starting on Monday.  I'm going to walk 1.5 miles at least 3 times a week.  On the "off" days, I will do 40 minutes of intense dancing.  And everyday I'm going to do toning exercises. 


I will overcome this weight.  I will be 280 come July 20th.

Thinspo *pinterest edition*

Holy gorgeous!

 

Hell, I'd love to be the "before" picture.

He's on to me.

The hubs can tell that I'm trying to not eat.  Since yesterday morning, he's done everything to make me eat.  It's not fair.  In the past 2 years he has lost over 30 pounds...why won't he let me do the same? 

Last night was especially hard, since we went out to a buffet for dinner.  I ate so much that I felt like I was going to throw up all night long.  I didn't though.  I didn't feel like that would help me.

But, I kinda wish I did.

I got my period today, so I'm hoping that I can use the excuse that I'm cramping so I can't eat excuse will work.  It should.

This morning before the boys woke up I did 30 minutes of intense dancing.  Exercise first thing in the morning rocks.  And later on tonight, I'm going to be outside and I'm going to be moving around more. 

Anything to burn off some calories.